I lay here in this cold box, yes this box made of pain, with sadness multiplying like bacterias in room temperature, with no way to contain.
How did I get here? Behind the box of my own depths, a slave to these thoughts that haunt me like I owe a debt, memories of a past life and the man I once was flashing before my eyes, that’s what they always say, “a mans life flashes before his eyes at his last moment”, so I can’t help but wonder, could this be the end?
How did I get here? In this pit, in this position where I am no longer in control, where the smiles I form no longer reach the depths of my soul, where the laughter that rings on from my throat no longer echo beyond or even console, with my fears and dark emotions taking control,
How did I get to these depths? Buried six feet under with darkness and gloom all around me, my happiness swept away like a broom, my hopes and dreams set ablaze and consumed, my skies once filled with light and beauty now spells doom, and the creativity of my youth no longer blooms,
How did I get here? Entombed, bound in shackles with nearly no room, where the only space left to move is the vacuum in my head filled with nothing but a voice that plumes,
You see I am a seed made from long lines of sadness, nature blessed me with these tools to dig my self a feet deeper into the darkness, and fate made sure my life was a fairy tale, one that brought forth tears and many ails, struggling to keep it together with no avail.
You see my brother was buried in pain with cuts on his wrist from where he bled his life away, you see mum was never whole again, and dad took to boxing, relieving his anger on his punching bag which was my face, leaving bruises on my skin and scars that cut deep into my soul,
You see me friends walked away cos they couldn’t help my aching soul, brandishing their tongues against me with my secrets and fears piercing me like arrows, like hot coals against my mind, hurting with every turn, my light faded from my eyes as all my emotions slowly turned cold, you see my life slipped from me, falling into this pit I now call home,
You see I didn’t have a choice but to set my feelings aside and dig my self six feet deep in this dirt of anxiety, depression my only friend the one who was always there, slowly feeding my insecurities making my resolve weak until the depths of loneliness took me in,
I know now, I shouldn’t have listened, but its too late for me, so I stay here in this well, this pit with only my demons to hear, with my fears all I have left, and oblivion awaits even as I think to myself, I don’t wanna be here.